If you are growing more and becoming an individual, if life is happening more to you, if you are becoming more open, if more beauty is felt in existence, if more poetry is arising in your heart, if more love flows through you, more compassion, if you are becoming more aware, then the relationship is good. Carry on. Then it is not a marriage. Then it is intimacy.
What breaks Intimacy?
- Taking a position, or ego
- Desires
- Expectations
- Insensitivity or too much sensitivity
- Judgments
- Taking intimacy for granted
- Finding imperfection in yourself or others
- Grumbling or lack of gratitude
- Lack of vivek or vairagya – discretion or dispassion
One is not ready and courageous enough to open up, to show one’s inner chaos and to be vulnerable. The other may exploit it – that fear is there. The other may become too dominant seeing that you are a chaos.
Seeing that you need a master, that you are not a master of your own being, the other may become the master. Hence everybody tries to protect themselves, so nobody knows their inner helplessness, otherwise they can be exploited. This world consists of much exploitation.
Intimacy is dissolving infinity, which brings you to the moment. You go beyond the events. Look beyond the events, dissolve into infinity, and be in the moment.
This is the way to maintain intimacy.
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